Torment over my angels! Mum who lost triplets targeted by trolls!
A heartbroken mum of three stillborn triplets has lashed out at online trolls who have targeted her for posting pictures of her unborn children online.
Amanda Morrison, 33, has been labelled a ‘baby killer’ and a ‘psychopath’ for trying to reach out to other parents who have lost a child.
She found out she was pregnant in August last year following months of fertility treatment.
But three months into the pregnancy, she received the devastating news that she would lose her triplets.
After they were delivered, she was allowed to spend some time with them to say goodbye.
To commemorate the emotional moment, Amanda took photos of her holding the children and built a mini shrine to her lost babies in her home.
In an attempt to reach out to other parents of unborn children, known as ‘angels’, she posted her pictures online.
However, despite many positive responses from mothers and fathers in similar positions, Amanda has been left horrified as online trolls have called her a ‘psychopath’ and ‘baby killer’.
Amanda, from Roswell, Ludowici, Georgia, USA, said: “I have had negative feedback, telling me it is disgusting to show my children’s pictures because they are dead.
“I have been called a baby killer and worse. I have been called a psychopath because I shared pictures of foetuses that never lived. I have been told horrible things.
“But I have found a lot of moms that have lost children that I have connected with, as we share a special bond.
“Like any child would, they leave pieces of themselves scattered around your home.
“My children were very real whether society wants to see it that way or not.
“They were loved and my love, a product of what love truly is. That’s my image of my babies.
“So I created places around my home where I see memories of them daily.”
Amanda thought she had realised her dream of having children after over a decade of trying.
She underwent an intrauterine insemination procedure in early August but was told not to raise her hopes too much.
However, when she went for an ultrasound scan at six weeks she was delighted to find out she was having triplets.
She said: “I had been trying to conceive for 14 years without success.
“I had an agonising 14 day wait before taking a pregnancy test.
“But I just couldn’t wait. When I was nine days past ovulation I took a test, which showed a faint positive.
“After a further 18 tests over the next five days all showed positive, I was absolutely ecstatic.
“I went to my doctor for a six week ultrasound which confirmed I was pregnant. He started counting them, and when he got to triplets I was delighted.”
At seven weeks, Amanda received the heartening news that all the heartbeats could be heard and that the pregnancy was viable.
However, on 23 November, in the 15th week, she got the terrible news that she had no functioning cervix and that she should prepare to lose the babies.
She said: “It all came crashing down. It was the news that no mother should have to hear.
“You have so many thoughts that run through your mind at that time.
“I started frantically researching, doing more research than you would do to cram for an exam, to see if there is anything that might help.
“I cried, I begged, I pleaded for someone to help me.
“I remember screaming out at the hospital that this wasn’t real. I just felt numb.
“Seeing my angel babies were the same emotions that any mother would feel. I was in love like no one could explain but another mother.
“I counted their fingers, I counted their toes, I memorised them instantly.
“I kissed them and held them and had to let them go.
“I get to see them only in those photographs and at the same time it is painful because no other photos will ever be taken.”
Amanda is using her heartbreak and experience of losing her triplets to reach out to and support other parents in the same situation.
Despite being stunned at some of the online vitriol she has received, she claims she is determined to help raise awareness of how to help parents of ‘angels’.
She said: “I can say that through all the negative comments, I have realized how quiet society wants us to be about child loss.
“People need to realize that it’s okay to mention our children’s names. While it hurts, the fact they are remembered makes us proud.
“They need to know that we don’t want you to walk on egg shells around us, but we need them to understand if for instance we just stop in the middle of the store sometimes if we see children’s items.
“People forget there are mums like us that would give up everything just to have a moment with our children, even if it were a situation most other parents would find annoying, like cleaning up mess.
Amanda is also raising money to allow her to have further fertility treatment: https://www.gofundme.com/tac-surgery-needed